Those hippie bums looking for a handout in Zuccotti Park can pack up their drums and go home: a Wall Street brokerage firm has magnanimously started offering protesters jobs, starting with one Tracy Postert, who's traded in her protest sign for a desk job just blocks from the park. Postert had been demonstrating at Zuccotti holding signs such as “Reagan sucks," "I’ll vote after the revolution," and "Ph.D. Biomedical Scientist seeking full time employment, ask me for my resume." Guess which one got her the job at John Thomas Financial Brokerage?

Naturally, the firm is milking this hire/publicity stunt for all its worth, and the Post is all too happy to make it their cover story today, with the headline "Occupier gets an occupation." (We would have gone with "Revolution Over—Bum Does What Her Parents Did!") The firm's chief market analyst, Wayne Kaufman, spotted Postert and her sign while walking by the park last month. Impressed by her resume, he offered her a job evaluating medical companies as potential investments. Naturally, the firm places a high priority on making sure potential investments are sound, so they're paying Postert slightly above minimum wage. Lucky Ducky!

Postert hasn't sold out, she's bought in, and she's really making a go of it over there at John Thomas, where every day begins with Kaufman yelling at her over the intercom "GO! GO! GO!" (The lunchtime betting on which protester will be arrested next must be awkward, too.) She tells the Post she's studying to be a certified financial analyst, and the firm's CEO, Thomas Belesis, boasts, "She was ranting about Wall Street, and now she’s working on Wall Street. Banks are not so bad. I hope we have opened her eyes." Now Belesis just has to lance that infernal Bailey Building & Loan boil on his neck and he'll have everything!