Today the New York Court of Appeals will hear arguments to determine whether or not lap dances given at an Albany-area strip club are tax exempt because they are "live dramatic or musical art performances." The hearing is a watershed for the club, Nite Moves, whose name clearly derives from the Rockwellian Post-Modernist Robert Clark Seger.

A Tax Appeals Bureau denied the club's argument, but previously another administrative judge who likely never has to pay for a lap dance again, wrote, "the fact that the dancers remove all or part of their costume ... simply does not render such dance routines as something less than choreographed perormances.” Because Nite Moves doesn't serve alcohol, they argue that they should get the same break that theaters hosting ballet enjoy.

The club has also hired an anthropologist at University of Maryland, Judith Hanna, to testify that lap dances encompass worthy artistic expression. But a lower appeals court cast doubt on her input because, as the AP reports, "the club dancers are not required to have any formal dance training and that the anthropologist didn’t see any of the dances done in private rooms."

We'd humbly suggest to the court that attempting to gyrate when the jukebox breaks and plays Sussudio for the third time and most of the patrons are on their fifth Diet Pepsi is not merely training, but baptism in the fire of combat. Besides, you have to know Nico to get into the champagne room anyway.

The Court of Appeals usually takes around a month to reach a verdict. If Nite Moves loses, they'll have to pay $124K in back taxes. But if they succeed, strip clubs everywhere will have a more lucrative way of tricking men into thinking people want to have sex with them.