Don't spend the evening huddled in a nervous ball on your couch, head out to one of these six election returns events to celebrate or weep with like-minded folks.
"Romney ignored the reporters’ queries and continued loading up the truck. Earlier, during the event, he ignored similar queries. "
In foreign policy it seems like all we have left is one model to choose from: "We still get our choice in color but it is the same model!"
After the jump, each candidate's five best jokes specially tailored for their wealthy white tie audience, plus a quick game of 'who told that joke better!'
"One candidate has had four years to do something and hasn't. And the other candidate says he won't even do what he once did!"
Viewers who were worried that last night's presidential debate was going to be a polite study in retail politics and pain-feeling were relieved to see that this was a STREET BRAWL.
The town hall format at Hofstra University may help the president.
“If I were Governor Romney, I would say that I am glad I had the courage to raise an issue nobody else would raise."
"In fact, Romney hasn’t specified a single deduction," Stewart said. "Dude couldn’t be more vague if he were an HBO season finale." So his only conclusion: "Are you a wizard?"
On this week's cover, The New Yorker parodies the one-sided president debate by mashing it together with everyone's favorite Clint Eastwood performance art routine.
Once you give the guy tens of thousands of dollars, Romney's actually a pretty feisty guy!
"When they start paying attention to the campaign later in the year, and Obama and the Democrats keep talking about Bain, Romney and Bain, that these people will think back to the Batman movie."
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