After all the photographer punches, passive agressive gift baskets and ghostly apparitions, Alec Baldwin and Hilaria Thomas tied the knot at St. Patrick’s Old Cathedral on Mott Street yesterday. Guests included Tina Fey, Lorne Michaels, Woody Allen, Mariska Hargitay, Robert Kennedy Jr. and brothers Billy and Stephen. “Shockingly, everything went off without a hitch," Stephen told the Post. “It was lovely, beautiful, and we’re looking forward to a long, happy marriage.” And what better way to celebrate than with a NY Times wedding announcement, in which the couple shares all the awkward details of how they met.

The meet-cute happened in February 2011 at Pure Food and Wine—and like all great romances, it started with a bit of awkward chitchat and clumsy pickup lines: “I was standing near the door with my friends when he walked up and took my hand and said, ‘I must know you,’ ” Thomas said. “You must know me?’ ” she replied, after which she said they stood chatting. “And then he gave me his card.” Baldwin later called the opening line "none too clever," and confirmed he gave her his phone number: "I never ask women for their phone numbers."

Thomas fretted over calling him, but her friends didn't understand why she was so shy:

Even then Ms. Thomas couldn’t bring herself to do it. “So my friend dialed the number, but he didn’t pick up,” she said. “And when he called back, I missed the call.”
She later noticed that Mr. Baldwin had left a message, at which point, Ms. Thomas said, she handed the phone to her assistant at the yoga studio and said, “I can’t listen to it.”
Her assistant certainly could, and handed the phone back to Ms. Thomas. “She said to me: ‘He just wants to talk. I don’t know what the big deal is.’ ”

Thomas was initially more concerned about their age difference than his celebrity or eagerness to punch photographers. He shook her hand at the end of their first date, and the rest is history: “I saw right away that she was very dedicated,” Baldwin told the Times. “She’s the yoga queen of the Village.”

And today, all we're left with is everyone's favorite xenophobic, sexist, geese-hating NY Post columnist Andrea Peyser, lamenting how she was the one who got away. "Oh, Alec. Dear, depraved and desperate Alec. Why didn’t you wait for me?" Peyser wrote in a column dedicated to her "greatest frenemy." "For Alec craves attention like a double-cheese pepperoni pizza. From the paparazzi. And especially from me." For you see, Peyser was once the double-cheese pepperoni pizza in Baldwin's eye. And now Baldwin would rather binge on yoga than pizza.