Something named FITist (no relation) recently emailed Gothamist HQ with a red alert stating that research shows some people gain up to 10 lbs during the holidays, adding that "one goat cheese canapé is 300 calories." But the holidays aren't about goat cheese canapés! They're about those things that have been on your table every December since birth: cookies, egg nog, and at my German household: stollen. But not that rock-hard, raisin-filled faux-stollen you find at stores—my grandmother made it with just three ingredients: sugar, butter, and magic. Scroll down if you want your holiday nostalgia cravings ruined forever... but it's not like you were actually going eat that fruitcake anyway, right?

EGG NOG: For a 1/2 cup of standard store-bought Egg Nog, you'll be taking in: 170 calories; 8g fat; 22g carbohydrates; 90mg sodium; 4g sugar.

PANETTONE BREAD: For one slice of store-bought Bellino Panettone bread, you'll be taking in: 180 calories; 7g of fat; 27g carbohydrates; 95mg sodium; 12g sugar.

FRUIT CAKE: We're going with the Hostess Fruit Cake on this one, because who knew this food abomination even existed? 1/4 of this cake will have you taking in: 420 calories; 12g fat; 72 carbohydrates; 100mg sodium; 36g sugar.

STOLLEN: This is really hard because there are so many ways to make stollen, and you really have to have the homemade stollen if you are going to have stollen at all. These loaves have sticks of butter, bags of sugar, and sometimes there's a slab of marzipan stuffed in there! My grandmother would even melt butter to pour over the top of the loaf before serving... we're talking heart-stopping amounts of fat and calories. If you do go store-bought, for a 1" slice from Wegmans you'll get: 368 calories; 16g fat; 50g carbohydrates; 144mg sodium; 25g sugar.

CANDY CANES: Stick to the candy cane! They aren't too bad for you—one cane contains: 40 calories; 0g fat; 14 carbohydrates; 0mg sodium; 11g sugar.

GINGERBREAD: According to this, one gingerbread man cookie contains: 207 calories; 6g fat; 35g carbohydrates; 130mg sodium; 26g sugar.

COOKIES & MILK FOR SANTA: We're going with Pillsbury Sugar Cookies with this one, we hear Santa loves those. One 1/2 inch slice packs a whopping 130 calories; 6g fat; 18g carbohydrates; 80mg sodium; 10g sugar. Depending on how thick you slice them before going into the oven, those numbers can change—here's what one 21g cookie would weigh in at. And don't forget the milk to dunk these in—one cup of whole milk is 150 calories; 8g fat; 12g carbohydrates; 130mg sodium; 12g sugar.