Now that your mind and your monthly Metrocard has been blown by the MTA's closure at noon, you'll have to settle for a taxi. But the impending hurricane has transformed the meter into a mysterious "zone" system (no relation to the evacuation zones), full of cryptic "letters." However, the changes aren't nearly as byzantine as DC's old zone system, and the new regulations will even force livery cabs to charge the same as the yellow ones. Strange times, indeed.

Per the TLC's decree: all taxies and liveries will charge $10/person initially, and $5 for every other zone that is entered. Manhattan has been divided into two zones at 60th street, and "group rides will be permitted and encouraged." The maximum fare to/from Manhattan to JFK is $30, while La Guardia is $20. Man, what a steal! Too bad no one's going to the airport. And apparently, there's one group of customers who will be especially happy for the Irene Fare system.