Glenn Beck along with his wife and one of his daughters showed up in Bryant Park last night to catch the Hitchcock movie 39 Steps. "All I wanted to do is go out on a blanket with my family and have dinner in the afternoon sun and sit around." While in theory this is a completely reasonable request, it seems a tad disconnected from reality, which shouldn't surprise anyone. Beck said on his morning radio show that from the moment he arrived, the vibe was "hostile," and that someone apparently kicked a glass of wine (which they shouldn't have had!) over on his wife's back. When she got up to use the restroom, someone pointed at her and supposedly shouted, "We hate conservatives here!"

Beck and his family refused to leave after the jeering because, "I have a right to watch a movie and enjoy a movie with my family in the park." He also apologized to anyone who had their movie experience ruined by "the people that found it so necessary to spew hatred." This seems sincere, because when you don't feel like hearing Beck spew hatred, at least you can change the channel. He also compared himself as a potential victim of lynching, saying:

If I had suggested, and I almost did, “Wow, does anybody have a rope? Because there’s tree here. You could just lynch me.’ And I think there would have been a couple in the crowd that would have.

Beck must have been referring to "DIY Lynch Mob Mondays," which is every other Monday in Bryant Park.

Beck was also incredulous that Gawker would choose to point out that he was sitting on an American flag quilt, and at the same time hilariously illustrates why people harass him in the first place: "I didn't pick the blanket, I'm sorry. It's the one we happened to have, sorry you didn't like it, I thought you loved America." While it's true that Gawker hates America, we do find it hard to believe that a jingoistic talk-show "historian" who makes at least $32 million a year only owns a single blanket with an American flag on it.

While Beck is the only one who has come forward with this version of the story, we're confident that he wouldn't use this as a promotional ploy, not that he has anything to promote. Anyway—catch Beck on his new network, GBTV on Thursday, where his goal will be to "be a part of a movement to save America one person...one town, one state at a time." And to make a lot of money doing it. We're off to go pick up our KKK hoods from the dry cleaners.

Update: It appears that the whole thing was just a giant misunderstanding. Lindsey Piscitell, who is in her sixth year of seeing movies in Bryant Park, wrote in to New York Magazine saying, "It was my friend that spilled the glass of wine on Tanya—and I can assure you that it was a complete accident." Her and her friends helped Beck clean up the spill. She goes on:

I'm sure it's unnecessary to point out the hypocrisy in Glen's statements that we were being hateful....We live our lives intolerant only of those who don't tolerate: We have chosen New York as our city for that very reason. We do things like go to Bryant Park Movie Night, and vote to legalize gay marriage. We don't taunt Glen, or his family. And we certainly don't waste our wine, even on Tanya.

We're waiting with bated breath for Beck's inevitable apology, which will come any second now.