You know what "edgy" Brooklyn needs? Rich people who ride pretty horses at exclusive champagne-fueled events. Fortunately, the Gucci Masters horse-jumping competition is coming to the Barclays Center in 2013, and organizers are using the opportunity to trot out as many trite Brooklyn cliches they can think of.

"It's got to be something like Coney Island," said Masters project manager Ashely Herman-Griffin. "I feel like there's got to be corn dogs or something," she added, which might not fly with the crowds more used to foie gras and bubbly. "I've always kind of dreamed of having rowdy Brooklyn cheering on a fancy horse show," said Walker Blankinship, the head of Kensington Stables near Prospect Park. But Blankinship might need to hold his, uh, horses: "It's not a hipster event," said Herman-Griffin, reassuring the legions of well-heeled equestrian socialites (including daughter-of-Mike Georgina Bloomberg and daughter-of-Bruce Jessica Springsteen) that they won't be subject to unseemly hordes of tattoo-covered creatives.

Historian Ron Schweiger is hopeful that by moving the event from Manhattan, "maybe it will make some more Brooklynites more of the elite." You hear that, Brooklyn? Put on your finest jodhpurs and prepare to go ~~eat~~ politely applaud the well-groomed grooms.