We've heard a lot about the sorrow of red headed strangers and the seductiveness of red headed women, but we've never heard of the plight of red headed cops until now. According to the Post, NYPD supervisors sent out an alert to Manhattan sergeants and lieutenants this month explaining that red head harassment would not be tolerated. Has someone been giving David Caruso wet willies again?

Despite the fact there haven't been any lawsuits or anything yet, cops are seemingly worried about that happening—because it seems that being harassed for your red hair qualifies for a bias lawsuit. “We’re apparently victims now,” one cop with ginger locks told the Post. “We’re protected from discrimination.”

This reporter has never endured any particular prejudice or bullying for his red beard, although one cop told the Post that as a child, “You get abuse every day when your hair is red. You get beaten and chased. You better learn how to fight.” No word on whether this new red sensitive policy extends to regular citizens, but if Cartman has as much authority over the NYPD as this suggests, we're sure he's hard at work discriminating all non-red heads.