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Doomsday

How have you been signing off your emails this past week?
Avoid any mysterious puddles of black oil and get your alien vaccine handy: colonization is coming.
We've all become so enraptured with Occupy Wall Street and Beyonce's baby bump conspiracy that we've lost track of the most important non-news story of the year: our impending doom!
A Queens woman left doomsday dude Harold Camping a quarter-million dollars! Unsurprisingly, her family isn't too happy.
The Rapture came and went with nary a peep, and as you can see from the above picture, Harold Camping's house is still decidedly earth-bound.
So...it seems like we're all still here. Congratulations on surviving the rapture!
Still skeptical? You're wondering why we haven't heard any reports of New Zealand's destruction, since it was 6 p.m. there hours ago? Well suck on this nonbelievers: there was an earthquake...near the South Sandwich Islands.
"If the world does end tomorrow alternate side parking will be suspended. Although I think alternate side parking will take on a whole different meaning, actually," the mayor said today.
That's great, it start with an earthquake, birds and snakes and airplanes, Lenny Bruce is not afraid.
What if you're a judge trying to maintain some semblance of
At the start of 2011, the apocalypse officially got underway with
Dead dove in Italy As soon as the new year hit,
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