Apologies

'The remark I made about people with Down syndrome was a terrible, terrible thing for me to say.'

On Wednesday's episode of 'Full Frontal,' host Samantha Bee called Ivanka Trump a 'feckless c*nt' for her complicity in supporting the Trump Administration's inhumane immigration policies. Things have just gotten more stupid since.

The court of public opinion doesn't appear to be buying his apology.

"I'm extremely embarrassed for my actions, and I'm looking forward to getting things back on track and am doing everything I can to help this team win."

"We're sorry for all the idiots who, from now on, will be shouting 'Hodor' every time you go through a door."

All of the NY Times' positive coverage of 'Star Wars' is a clear attempt at smoothing over a dark and twisted history of misreporting on the film stretching all the way back to 1976.

"He should stop using his disability to grandstand and get back to reporting for a paper that is rapidly going down the tubes," Trump said.

These platitudes mean nothing unless area meteorologists also reimburse us for all the money we blew at Trader Joe's.

"I never thought I see this day where my life is shattered and I have shattered a young boy’s life as well," the suspect wrote.

A woman who claims she was unjustly jailed at Rikers Island over Memorial Day weekend because of an outdated warrant has filed a $3 million wrongful arrest lawsuit.

"If it was an open-and-shut case, I just let [the staff member] go quietly," former Yeshiva president said about abuse allegations. "It was not our intention or position to destroy a person without further inquiry."

Senate candidate Todd Akin has reversed his stance on how humans reproduce.