Happy Independence Day ya dang patriots, it's lookin' like a reaaaaal scorcher out there: High temps, high humidity, high volume of beef franks to shove into your face because it's the 4TH OF JULY, damnit, and your favorite meat is hot dog. Here's you, seizing the day:

America's colonist-appointed birthday kicks off with uncomfortably sweaty morning temps. We're talking 76 degrees by 8 a.m. CAN YOU FEEL IT, your burning love of country? By 2 p.m., you'll certainly feel something, likely the sickly sensation of your face melting off your skull because the heat index has risen to 86 degrees and you're out there baking on one of NYC's fine beaches. According to the National Weather Service, humidity should dip from a choking 82 percent early Thursday morning to a more reasonable, but by no means ideal, 53 percent by 2; that looks poised to ratchet ever upward over the course of the evening, topping out at 90 percent around 5 a.m. on Friday morning. However! Cloud cover currently looks semi-scant, with low low odds of rain throughout the morning and afternoon.

What of the fireworks, you say? Excellent question! Let's take a look.

The NWS projects a 9 percent chance of rain through 9 p.m.—keep in mind, Macy's fireworks display (purportedly the nation's largest, NBD) begins at 9:20 tomorrow night—and a modest drop in temperature, something in the 77 degree ballpark. Just don't plan to catch the show from the South Street Seaport piers, unless of course you nabbed one of those nearly $500 party tickets in celebration of two great American traditions, capitalism and greed. Anyway, from a meteorological perspective, we've got prime firework conditions on the horizon.

For those of you lucky enough to have snagged a long weekend of freedom, maybe consider front-loading your outdoor activities because an ill-timed rain may be headed our way. Friday, as mentioned, probably starts off sweaty and humid, with a rising chance of rain that becomes a likelihood by Saturday afternoon (and stays that way until Saturday evening). At the same time, temps may reach a miserable 94 degrees by 3 p.m. on Saturday, with accompanying thunderstorms to really trumpet the severity of the situation/the magnitude of your personal liberties. On the bright side, the rain currently looks like it might flatline by Sunday morning and remain a long-shot all day: You might bookend your holiday weekend with beach days, what with temps currently forecasted in the sort-of-sunny 80s and all.

Have a nice time out there, comrades, and in conclusion: