Besides whale bone back-scratchers, one of the best parts about being rich is that you make money because you're rich. In 2008, the 400 wealthiest taxpayers made 60 percent of their income in the form of capital gains (profits from investments), and 8 percent in salary and wages. Meanwhile, the rest of the country made 5 percent in capital gains, and 72 percent in salary and wages. Under the current tax code, billionaires pay less than anyone making more than $34,500 in wages on capital gains earnings. This is because, as one Yale professor tells WaPo, “the amount of lobbying that takes place on tax policy from the deep-pocketed interests that have the most at stake is enormous." Maybe all those unemployed people should just become lobbyists?

According to the article, "over the past 20 years, more than 80 percent of the capital gains income realized in the United States has gone to 5 percent of the people." Wait for the money quote to light your molotov cocktail! "About half of all the capital gains have gone to the wealthiest 0.1 percent." If this isn't justification for our long-ignored proposal for "National Key A Porsche Day," what is?

"The way you get rich in this world is not by working hard," an economist with Tax Analysts says, "It's by owning large amounts of assets and having those things appreciate in value." It also helps to own the politicians who make the rules, especially Republicans, who treat lowering or eliminating capital gains taxes as a "theology."

Five Republican 2012 presidential candidates support eliminating capital gains taxes. Today, as Obama proposes closing tax loopholes on those who earn more than $200K a year to pay for his jobs plan, he makes no mention of capital gains, probably because he doesn't want to hurt the GOP's feelings (and keep campaign cash of his own flowing from wealthy donors).

But don't worry, top 0.1 percent! The GOP is looking out for you. Boehner's spokeman released a statement condemning ANY tax increases:

“It would be fair to say this tax increase on job creators is the kind of proposal both parties have opposed in the past. We remain eager to work together on ways to support job growth, but this proposal doesn’t appear to have been offered in that bipartisan spirit.”