Earlier this week, among eBay's bootleg phone chargers and MILF-handled copies of Fifty Shades of Grey, a slice of heaven was up for bid. A literal slice of heaven: an ex-Orthodox man from New Jersey decided to auction off his expected ticket through the pearly gates, and since a guaranteed Utopian eternity is hard to come by these days, bidding went as high as $100,000. Before eBay pulled the post, that is.

The bid was posted on Tuesday by 31-year-old Ari Mandel, a former Orthodox Jew from Teaneck, NJ who is now an atheist, and apparently has no use for an eternal place close to God, or whatever. Mandel decided to auction his "Portion in Olam Habaah," or the Jewish world-to-come, on eBay as a joke; he offered the highest bidder a contract guaranteeing his spot, along with a secondary contract promising a full refund if Mandel turned to a life of sin. "It was a joke that ran away from me," Mandel told the Jewish Daily Forward. "I’m not a master prankster. This idea just popped in my head and I jumped on it." The auction kicked off at 99 cents, but enthusiastic sinners started pouring in bids, and eventually it reached $99,900.

But eBay says selling intangible items, like witch spells or the promise of a non-disappointing Mets season, violates their terms of use, and they told Mandel to yank the auction or else. The site was also apparently inundated with complaints from people who found Mandel's post offensive, or at the very least didn't want to spend the afterlife with some schmuck who bought his way in. "There were countless people offended,” Mandel, who spent several years in the US Army and is now a student at NYU, said. “People sent me screen shots of people having reported it." So, sadly, you'll still have to get to heaven the old-fashioned way—though, sources tell us Mandel's spot up there was all wrong, anyway.