Yelp isn't just a platform created for people with an excess amount of time and very strong opinions on watch repairmen, city jails fictitious restaurants to unload their pent up emojis in public—it's also the only way we know for sure that a place even exists. Which is how we recently discovered this thing called the Metropolitan Transit Authority. There have been just over 350 reviews of our subway system by locals and tourists alike on Yelp, resulting in a 3 1/2 star review overall which...seems about right.

After Mashable looked at 10 of the world's largest and most well-known transit systems, we were curious to see just how venomous (or laudatory) reviews of our subway system would be. And we were not disappointed. There's a surprising amount of people complaining about fare hikes, and a whole lot of bitching about lateness and cleanliness.

The biggest theme to emerge amongst haters is their frustration that Yelp won't allow them to give a rating of lower than 1.

The only reason you getting 1 star is because I can't give you 0 star!! [Kenny T]

stupid MTA. stupid stupid MTA. i want to know who helped it rise to a 3 star average. i hate you people just as much as i hate the mta. anyone who doesn't hate the mta is a complete ignorant moron. a big F$CK YOU TO THE MTA and to everyone giving the MTA a bj. [Steve W]

I wish I could give them zero stars but I rely on this so what can I do. Honestly, can't believe there's a Yelp page for this but I guess this is the only way we can voice our opinions to the MTA anyway.[Carmen C]

By 1 star, i mean 0. I was in New York for 3 days...While I give MTA a big 0 in service, I would like to give them 5 stars for the way they have bent me over and gave it to me raw without mercy. I don't think that's a skill that comes over night. It takes lots of practice, and they definitely have it nailed down. [Corbin F]

I have never witnessed such a horrible, criminal mismanagement of funds in my life. If my work ethic was the same as that of the MTA bigwigs, I'd be fired in a heartbeat. One star is too generous, but it's the lowest I'm allowed to assign. The filthy, vile, corrupt organization that is the MTA does not deserve to be likened to a star period. [K B]

The subway system in New York City is the most disgusting and revolting mode of transportation I've ever commuted on. And believe me, I've been on enough subways in the US and Europe to affirmatively make this claim. Metro Transit doesn't get a 1-star whatsoever...it deserves a negative 10 for being so outlandishly hardcore gross! [Marcus V]

Are u people for real? Are u in on a scam? I am not big on conspiracy theory, it's just I haven't met a single person in 10 years riding the subway who had half-a-decent word to say about MTA or the subway system in NY. For all the things to love in NYC this is not. They don't even deserve 1 star, maybe yelp should come up with the ranking system for total losers. [Alex D]

Yelp should offer 0 stars......MTA, not really bad if you discount the rats, but their habit of parking buses in poor neighborhoods, underneath the windows of apartments? ...I take it as discrimination against the poor. [Clm S]

Perhaps not surprisingly, locals are much harsher about the MTA than tourists. Out of 355 reviews, there were 209 positive reviews (four or five star reviews); 157 of those were from tourists and 52 were from locals. There were 24 three-star-reviews from tourists and 33 from New Yorkers; however, there were 68 negative (one or two star) reviews from NYers, and only 21 from tourists.

So it turns out that there are plenty of reasonable tourists who cut the MTA a bit more slack. Sure the subways are hot, overcrowded and everyone smells, but outsiders can find plenty of reasons to wax poetic about the fact they can get from point A to point B without being vomited upon (mostly).

Egypt had the Pyramids. Rome had the Aquaduct. New York has the MTA. [Joseph D, from Atlanta]

As a visitor from California, I'd gladly trade in my car to have a mass transit system like the subway system in NYC! You guys don't know how good you have it. [Kewlby X, from Castro Valley]

The majority of the NY subway stations smell funky and are hotter than hell (in July anyway), but I still give it 5 stars. For 30 bucks I went EVERYWHERE for a week, would've spent about $270 if I had paid for indivdual rides and even more for taxis. [Joel H, from Illinois]

The NYC Subway is by far the best public transit system I have ever used, NYC's public transit is 1000 times better than the public transit we have in the bay area [Ryan D, from San Jose]

I am in total amazement at this underground and overground engineering miracle that transports gazillion people around the venerable city of NY,NY through a web of tunnels and tracks. [Jo Ann, from Honolulu]

Best public transportation system in the country, hands down. Plus, you get to see nature up close and personal when the rats run between the rails. [Kim B, from Seattle]

And there are, of course, a few really strange reviews worth highlighting, including this five-star review from Sukatuh S. of Honolulu:

I saw a woman wearing high heels in the subway. When the train stopped, she lost her balance and planted one of her heels in the middle of another woman's foot. The woman with the heels said, "I'm so sorry," and the other woman said, "OWWWwwwWWWwwW." Was I wrong to eavesdrop on their conversation?

BTW, NYC's subway totally rocks...I suggest buying the 7-day, unlimited pass for $29. It's so worth it.

Iris M, a Manhattan native who has been riding the subway since she was in middle school, doesn't care for all the well-dressed homeless people:

ENVIRONMENT The environment is disgusting everywhere. This is some of what you'll typically see (and smell): - People clipping their nails - So-called beggars wearing nicer shoes than you, usually Timberlands - Unknown substances - Crazy religious people that won't shut up - Rogue animals, rodents and "pets" - Loud, foreign music - Pouring of gross sewage, especially at semi-open stations like Rector St. - Sexual activity performed by ugly people - Sick people everywhere

And NYC-based Linsday K. has a story to share:

To that bitch who shoved me on the 6 last week:

I will hunt you down and fuck you up.

Kisses,
Lindsay