At least the guests of the Millennium Hilton can check out and escape the noise emanating from the 19-hour construction shifts at the World Trade Center site. Residents of the "plush, fashionable" luxury building 90 West—located right next to the WTC construction site—are trapped in their gilded cages. "This is a luxury apartment, and the only luxury I have is this nightmare," 31-year-old resident Nick Oram tells the Post, presumably referring to the Armani-suited "Obvious Monsters" who mock him in his dreams for moving into a building 20 feet away from the most prominent construction site in the United States of America.

"I've never been to war, but I would assume that a battlefield would sound like that," Oram says, unaware that most soldiers—who are shot at with actual bullets—don't have access to a Fitness Center or WiFi in the lobby of their barracks. "It's the Port Authority—they have no respect for individual rights," another 90 West resident says, referring to the agency that crucially maintains the country's busiest infrastructure and doesn't interfere with his individual right to move to another apartment that lacks "original gargoyles" and a 24-hour doorman.

Still, decibel readings in the apartments show levels in the "mid-80s to low-90s," which OSHA notes can cause hearing loss. And hearing jackhammers constantly can prompt the type of insanity that would make one compare his luxury digs to a war zone. But we have little sympathy for those who chose to live directly next to the WTC. Maybe they were blinded by the pool table in the lobby? Our suggestion: have a few nightcaps like the construction workers.