Sadly, the world won't see Woody Allen face off with Dov Charney in a courtroom. Not today, at least. American Apparel has posted the following statement on their website: "Today the lawsuit filed against American Apparel by Woody Allen will settle whereby he will receive a $5M payment. The vast majority of this payment will be paid by our insurance carrier who is responsible for the decision to settle this case and has controlled the defense of this case since its inception. Naturally there is some relief of not having to go through a trial but I also harbor a sense of remorse and sadness for not arguing an important issue regarding the First Amendment, particularly the ability of an individual or corporation to invoke the likeness of a public figure in a satiric and social statement."

Mr. Charney continues saying his company "had a good case," and that even if the billboard was found to have a dual commercial/expressive purpose that they would still be protected by the First Amendment (which he's touched upon before). And in fact, he says, "Allen himself has referenced many public figures over the course of his long career, often for the purpose of parody, such as Fidel Castro in the movie Bananas." Now that he can talk freely about the case, brevity is not a concern—Charney continues, asserting that the billboard was meant to "create a parallel between the sentiment of that moment in the film [Annie Hall] and what my company and I were experiencing at the time." You know, those pesky sexual harassment lawsuits where he was accused of conducting job interviews in his underwear (it should be noted that, in his own words, "two years later, all the claims in the lawsuits have been completely disproven").

He goes on to say that, "My intention was to call upon people to see beyond media and lawsuit-inspired scandal, and to consider people for their true value and for their contribution to society." So everyone, please take the next few moments to consider Charney's latest contribution to society: the return of the Scrunchie.