Kabbalah has proven to be the most convenient way to reduce 4,000 years of teachings into a good luck charm against celebrity misfortune, in the form of a trendy, $26 red bracelet. Now the Daily News reports that joining the ranks of hapless public figures such as A-Rod, Paris Hilton, and Britney Spears is our own Governor Paterson. It wouldn't be surprising if he had an arsenal of evil eye amulets to go with the Jewish talisman—forgoing his reelection bid, being under investigation, having his feelings hurt, and being on the front lines of the budget wars are only a few of the problems besetting the lame-duck Governor.
The besieged usually clad themselves in Kabbalah armor during the most trying times; A-Rod accessorized with the mystical red string during the TV interview where he confessed to using steroids. However, since the time Paterson began wearing the bracelet cannot be narrowed down from this spring, it's unclear if the quashed soda tax or another damaging Times profile was the tipping point for the Governor to turn to a higher power.
His spokesman Morgan Hook said, "It was explained to the governor that the red string is a symbol of protection [that] wards off problems and tribulations." But unfortunately we can't count on the string's ability to close the $9.2 billion budget deficit, at least not until someone points out to Paterson that he's wearing it on the wrong wrist.