Last night a tipster sent us this photo of what appears to be a pedicab with a small jail cell attached to the back. She insisted the woman in the photo was climbing into the cage voluntarily, but the tipster could not provide any further information as to what the hell we're looking at here. We've seen pole-dancing pedicabs before, but are cage-dancing versions the new thing? Or is this just the latest innovation for the NYPD's bicycling patrol? Let's let our imagination be our guide...
Outside the 55th Street and 7th Avenue, near the Wellington Hotel:
Tourist: Excuse me! Can you take me to 43rd and Lex?
Cop: I'm an officer of the NYPD lady, not a pedicab.
Tourist: Sorry, I—shouldn't you be in some sort of car? Where are your sirens?
Cop: Times are tough, lady. We've got to reshuffle our priorities, and [Commissioner Ray] Kelly thought, you know, either we continue driving in cars with their fancy lights, and sirens, and doors—real highbrow shit, you know?—or we focus on what really matters, like improving our surveillance technology.
Tourist: Wow, OK, I'm just going to...
Cop: At first I hated it. I was like, "Motherfucker, first you take away my Facebook and now you take away my car! You've got to be kidding me!" But now, you know, I kind of like it. You really get to experience the city. I saw Guy Fieri jogging down 5th Avenue yesterday. Normally I'da just blown on by, too busy adjusting my jowls in the rear view mirror or whatever to notice. But on the bike, I saw him. I said "Yo Guy! I stopped in your spot with my lady last night and daaayyyuuuum, son. That super-melty-cheese has it goin' on." And then I reached over, and me and the Big Guy fist bumped. Just like that. That whole thing, that would never had happened if I'd been in my cruiser. You know what I'm saying?
Tourist: I..think so, yeah.
Cop: You know what lady, you're OK. You want a ride, I'll give you ride. I'm taking Joe back here from the Central Park Precinct down to the Tombs anyway. You don't mind, do you Joe? Slide over and let the lady in, that's it.
Tourist: Well hang on—how much to Grand Central?
Cop: Let's see, we take 7th to West 48th....atl'll be 15 bucks.
Tourist: Fifteen! How about 10?
[Cop considers this.]
Cop: Thirteen, and I'll let you fire my taser.