"Who's in charge?" the Governor asked in recent comments about the Metropolitan Transportation Authority. "Who knows! Maybe the county executive, maybe the president, maybe the governor, maybe the mayor."

Who controls the MTA?
I'm Governor but cannot say
Such a thing's above my pay
A question for another day!

Who's in charge? Who knows! Do you?
I cannot lie and say I do!
Though I must confess this much is true:
My girlfriend makes a great beef stew.

Plurality's an elusive word
What's it mean? You tell me, nerd.
Do you even lift? Or hunt? Absurd!
I bet you like martinis stirred.

But I digress, let's stay on track
If New York wants its subway back
Just let ol' Andrew take a crack
Untie these hands from behind my back!

The kids say I am ripped and swole
And clearly I am on a roll
I move stuck cars! Look: cashless tolls!
I ride a hog with Billy Joel

Your mayor should fix the A/C/E
But since he's not it falls to me
I hear he's down in Miami
Sippin' rosé beneath a palm tree

Lucky for you Papa Cuomo's in town
I'll fix the mess left by that giant clown
Who kills cute deer and lets you down
I'll be subway king! Can I wear a crown?

Editor's note: The MTA is under state control, and the governor appoints a plurality of its members, including its chairman and CEO. The governor's involvement is so well-established that MTA planners refer to him by the nickname "The Engineer on the Second Floor," a reference to his second-floor office at the Capitol.