The Brooklyn Paper

reports that an armed robber roaming around Fort Greene Park has added a famous novelist to his list of victims. The author is unnamed "to protect his family," but the article does indicate that the Cobble Hill-based writer was with his wife and his 8- and 12-year-old sons.

Who could this mysterious writer be? Naturally Martin Amis, who is Cobble Hill's newest literary resident, comes to mind, but his youngest children are a boy and a girl. Other options? There's memoirist Darin Strauss who has a few novels on his resume, but his sons are identical twins. Rick Moody is childless, and Jonathan Lethem only has one son. Jonathan Safran Foer has two children with Nicole Krauss, but they are too young to fit the description. Could it have been Pulitzer Prize-winner Jennifer Egan, who has two sons (but who lives in Fort Greene), playing a trick with gender reversal?

What's more shocking? That the commenters over at Brooklyn Paper are more interested in the serial robberies rather than the recent victim's identity. Priorities, people!