The swine flu vaccine has finally arrived in New York, and not a moment too soon, as it has finally afflicted one of our own: Lindsay Robertson at Daily Intel has been stricken with swine flu for the past week—or so she thinks...

Robertson's doctor didn't test her for H1N1, telling her that because the test is expensive, everyone's just assuming any case of the flu at this time is H1N1. Her doctor also told her, "everyone's going to get it, so don't feel too bad." So brace yourself, because it sounds like a nightmare, which in her case started with a fever of 101.6, which rose to 104 by morning and reduced her to "thrashing about, teeth chattering, in a full-on malarial stupor."

The worst of it came in slowly on Saturday afternoon: an excruciating, horrifying, unimaginably painful sore throat, the likes of which you haven't experienced unless you've had strep as an adult. But, unlike strep, which quickly improves within the first few hours of antibiotics, this sore throat is caused by a virus, and it will last for a week. It will make you ask yourself questions like, "If I knew I would have this sore throat for the rest of my life, would I choose to go on living?" And the answer will be, "No."

Finally, "your friends will abandon you... TV is your new friend." (People have non-TV friends!?) The only saving grace was that her doctor decided her throat was swollen enough to merit Vicodin! So you've got that going for you. Her funny/sad account of the experience in Daily Intel is full of helpful hints for when the porcine virus comes for you. And it will come. Why, if you put your ear to the floor you can almost hear those little hooves scrambling toward you up the stairs...