Former Secretary of Defense and closet flesh-eating lizard Donald Rumsfeld once said, "You go to war with the army you have, not the army you might want." The statement can be applied to the Department of Sanitation's lack of tire chains during last year's blizzard that kept everyone's block nice and smelly. But it appears that Sanitation will attempt to wing it on the cheap again this year: instead of buying new ones, they're going to instruct workers how to make better use of the old ones.

Sanitation spokesman Vito Turso tells the Post that while the agency is still "weighing [the] options," they have "conducted a series of tests with the snow chains we use and [are] highlighting the proper mounting of snow chains on truck tires during the training of our sanitation workers." That said, last year one DOS employee complained about the type of chains, not how they were mounted: "The chains kept pulling the tires off my rims. This is 2011, and the city can't buy chains as good as they got 20 years ago?"

These are lean times! It's understandable that the department may want to keep costs down. And after a long day sitting in classes at Snow Chain U, Sanitation workers may need to slake their thirst with a few cold ones.