If we had any damn time and weren't so completely frazzled we'd write a long monograph debunking this Forbes ranking of America's most stressful cities. NYC only comes in at #8! Now, it's true that NYC-based media gives us a big edge in dramatizing our stress to the world, but that doesn't mean the stress isn't real. And to rank our stress level lower than such cities as Dallas (#7) and Tampa (#4!!!) makes us want to hurl our scalding hot latte in the face of whichever Forbes intern was assigned to research this story. Guess which city is supposedly the most stressed?

Las Vegas is supposedly the most stressful city—because of the residents, not the losers, gambling away their retirement money at the craps table. Forbes argues that Vegas wins for stress because of the "high unemployment, long commute times, long work hours, limited access to health care, poor physical health and a lack of exercise." Sure, Vegas does sound like a shitty city to live in, but how stressed out can you be when it's 114 degrees? Morbidly suicidal, sure, but the last time we were in Vegas we just wanted to take a nap. (Which we did, poolside, waking up hours later like Kramer in "The Butter Shave" [the 2:17 mark].)

Forbes explains their methodology here if you'd like to split some hairs in the comments. NYC did at least rank first in one category: Long Commute Times. And with the way things are going at the MTA, we can probably count on holding on to that title for years.