Because technology today allows us to shoot laser beams in eyeballs, and keeps our kitties crapping into robots, New York City is in the process of installing 300 parking meters that will allow users to refill them with their cellphones. Sure, why not encourage more vehicles to pour into the city's already choked streets? If we've learned anything about the advancement of modern technology, it's that there's no profit in the cure, man.

The Post reports that after registering online, "drivers will simply use an app or text message to enter the number of the meter they are parking at, and the amount of time they wish to purchase." While paying with a credit card by phone might sound handy, it will "also help with enforcement, making it more challenging to feed a meter beyond the time limit." Not to mention that it puts you into the system. Next thing you know The Man will start blowing up your cell piece, sending you angry texts like the one night stand you met at a falafel cart after 3 a.m. "i need ur $ NOW! u txt me about pk space now u stand me up? i h8 u SO MUCH!!!!11!"

Atlanta and Washington already have the meters, and the city claims the pilot program will put the trial meters "in the outer boroughs on a busy commercial strip with retail and restaurants," and also probably inside your brain when you get a flu shot at Duane Reade.