The city is officially excessively revoltingly hot: the National Weather Service has issued a heat advisory for the New York City area today. A heat advisory is issued whenever "the combination of heat and humidity is expected to make it feel like it is at least 95 degrees for two consecutive days...or 100 degrees for any length of time," according to the NWS. These conditions are particularly dangerous to the elderly, people with chronic health problems, and those with mental health conditions.

The heat advisory is in effect from 11 a.m. today through 7 p.m. tonight. It's currently 83 degrees in Central Park, but that's the park; in the real world of congested city streets and rotting garbage canyons, it feels more like 93. AccuWeather predicts the RealFeel® will reach 97 degrees today. (Check back later for our full forecast.)

The NYC Emergency Management Department is urging everyone to just take it easy today. Avoid strenuous activity, push the fluids, perform esoteric sacrifices on your building's roof at precisely 12 noon in an attempt to appease the angry fire gods, turn up the air conditioning, call out sick.

Cooling centers are open now; to find the nearest designated cooling center (these are generally libraries or senior centers with air conditioning), call 311 or check this website. The City is also urging everyone to be a good person and look out for their neighbors, especially the elderly, the very young, and anyone with a medical condition. It's recommended that you check on anyone vulnerable twice a day.

Here are eight essential tips for beating the heat in NYC. Good luck!