Before disgraced former Congressman Anthony Weiner 'fessed up to being a serial sexter, we were treated to a week of denials and finger wagging as Weiner pretended the crotch shots were not of his crotch—and then when he finally admitted he couldn't "say with certitude" whether the wiener was his, he still maintained someone had hacked his Twitter account to send them. So how dedicated was Weiner to keeping up that pretense? Dedicated enough to pay over 13K to a team of private investigators to get to the bottom of his self-made mess.

According to the Daily News, Weiner paid private investigators T&M Protective Services of Manhattan $13,290 of his campaign funds for “legal services.” Sources told the News that Weiner hired T&M—a firm loaded with former NYPD sleuths—when he was in full spin mode over the sexting controversy. He allegedly told the investigators his Twitter account had been hacked, and sent them on a fool's errand to find the perpetrator. And all the while, the villain was literally right under their noses.

In other words, this would be good fodder for a Raymond Chandler novel, if Chandler wrote young adult fiction about threesome-friendly new media politicians who could turn filthy bedroom talk into haiku gold.