Last week, it was very very cold, and a little snowy — an altogether appropriate showing, considering the season. So now you're over there in your hibernation den, splashing around in your sweater bin and piling on the turtlenecks in preparation for winter...which would make sense if we didn't live in an era where nothing makes sense. According to the National Weather Service, today's high could climb all the way to 60 degrees by, you absolutely did not guess it, 11 p.m. And then! On Wednesday, it may snow.

*a disembodied cackle echoes shrilly in the distance, likely belonging to the wind, which will also drop by to fuck things up*

To start, we're working with 50-degree temps right now, which will rise slowly and steadily throughout the afternoon as the already-too-high humidity solidifies to 100 percent. Per NWS projections, there will not be a moment between this one we're living and Wednesday morning when we don't face some chance of rain. Today's showers appear occasional, rising to a likelihood by roughly 1 p.m. tomorrow afternoon. Meanwhile, the aforementioned wind should mostly remain at breeze level, with gale-adjacent gusts cropping up as temps reach their springtimey peak tonight. Sounds like it'll be a clammy swampland out there, and you would do best to just get in bed and hide from whatever insane autumnal trough of slop The Weather decides to serve for dinner.

It may remain unseasonably warm until Tuesday night, when temps start to roll back down into the wintersphere. Overnight lows should sink through the 40s and into the 30s, which — by 3 p.m. on Wednesday — may feel more like the high 20s, due to wind chill. From about 3 a.m. to 9 a.m., we may also enjoy occasional to likely snow, which should taper off by 3 p.m.

Those of you who go to sleep in all your turtlenecks will feel like real champs when you awaken to pitiless lows on Thursday: A technical temperature of 27 may feel as cold as 18 degrees, what a neat trick. After that, temps could trek back into the 50s by Saturday, basically obliterating any possibility of you ever getting over that intractable cold you've had for weeks. At least you can enjoy the splendor of a FULL SNOW RESPONSE from the comfort of your sickbed? Provided we get the requisite two inches, that is.