Over the weekend, we reached peak rich people problems when a wealthy Upper East Side couple sued the Cathedral School of St. John the Divine for $415K after the school allegedly tricked them into bidding on a 30-by-30-inch finger-painting by a classroom of kindergartners, rigged the auction, and stuck them with a $50K bill for it. Now, socialite Michelle Marie Heinemann tells the Post that in lieu of the $415K, she would accept a sincere apology from the school...as well as the firings of at least two staff members.
“I don’t want a dime from the school,” she told them. “I want them to acknowledge their egregious conduct. I loved giving to the school. But I don’t want it to be in a plot or a scheme.” So she wants the school to fire the administrator and teacher allegedly behind that plot.
To sum up said scheme: Heinemann felt her son Hudson Cornelius Heinemann was being "underappreciated" at the school, relegated to the role of ‘door-holder’ among other things. To get him the appreciation he deserved, Heinemann agreed to donate extra money, help Hudson’s class create a sellable work of art, and buy said art at auction for $3K. Except she claims the administrator and teacher drove up the auction to $50K.
With all the attention the lawsuit got, it's no wonder Heinemann wanted to roll things back a bit with the Post, and try to downplay that huge $415K figure (compensation which includes Hudson’s $60,000-a-year chauffeur). So much of the Post article is a list of Heinemann's previous philanthropic efforts (donating to charities Prize4Life and Southampton Hospital and founded Blankets for Warmth).
Personally, we're a bit more interested in her artwork (she does refer to herself as a "renowned artist" in the lawsuit). Based on this Black Tie Magazine piece, it seems she has A Beautiful Mind-like relationship with triangles.