It was David's first day of school,
Would the other kids think he was cool?
He tied his tie, kissed his wife goodbye,
It was David's first day of school.

He knew he'd try his best,
Heck, he'd been shot in the chest!
"I've taught before, and I'm not a bore."
It was David's first day of school.

But college is far from war,
There's no danger, no bravery, no gore.
Words alone would set the tone,
It was David's first day of school.

Maybe they'd cut him some slack,
He'd given the money back!
They'd remember the Surge, goodwill would emerge,
It was David's first day of school.

The students didn't care for the Surge,
They played him an f-bomb laced dirge.
"Oh if I'd just been more sly, I'd still be a spy!"
It was David's first day of school.