Chris Christie contains multitudes: he's a struggling presidential candidate, a staunch defender of a person's right to physically assault a union, and a skilled softball player. He's also a Catholic who has, at some point in his life, used birth control, a fact he so delicately announced at a town hall event in New Hampshire today. How cavalier! Now think of all the little Christies that might exist if there were no such thing as Planned Parenthood...

Anyway, the full, horrifying Christie quote is, "I'm a Catholic but I've used birth control — and not just the rhythm method." Watch below and remember that what you hear cannot be unheard:

The rhythm method, for the risk averse, is a "fertility awareness-based method" in which a women will "keep track of their menstrual cycles and abstain from unprotected vaginal intercourse during their peak fertile times." About a quarter of couples who use fertility awareness-based methods will become pregnant if they don't use the method consistently, and it's a pretty hard one to perfect.

That information, by the way, comes from Planned Parenthood's website. Christie has vowed to defund Planned Parenthood, should he be elected president, and he has failed to fund it in the state of New Jersey for the past six years. Please do not have sex with Chris Christie, even if he swears he'll use a condom.