Earlier this morning a 50-year-old Staten Island woman sideswiped four parked cars on her way home from the Dugout Pub on Staten Island. According to the Staten Island Advance, the driver, Dorothy Scrimenti, made it about a half-mile from the bar in her Mercury Mountaineer before crashing to a halt around 2 a.m. Police say she had almost four times the legal amount of booze in her system when she was arrested—that would be .292 percent , more than three-and-a-half times the .08 percent legal limit. Scrimenti also had bloodshot, watery eyes; a "belligerent attitude"; and a hope that the arresting officers were complete morons, because she told them she had only consumed one Maui Wowie. The Maui Wowie cocktail is a mixture of coconut rum, melon liqueur and, often, other liqueurs, as well as pineapple juice and orange juice. It's also, apparently, a particularly potent strain of cannabis which has been immortalized in song by recording artist Kid Cudi. ("Make ya feel great, you forget you in the states, might relocate/So you can smoke all the Maui Wowie you can take.") So maybe that's what Scrimenti actually "consumed" at the bar? We're on our way to the Dugout Pub to investigate.