Pastor Terry Jones came, threatened to burn a bunch of Koran's, and conquered—and by conquered, we mean ran away with his mustachioed tail between his legs. Today, he will pass go—but instead of collecting $200, he will collect a free car valued at $14,200, courtesy of South Brunswick car dealer Brad Benson.

Benson, a former NY Giants offensive tackle, was dumb enough to offer the car to Jones if he didn't start a religious war. And even though he only meant it as an attention-grabbing prank, he inadvertently spoke the one language that Jones speaks fluently. The "ceremony" is scheduled for this morning; Jones told reporters he will donate the car to an organization assisting battered Muslim women. And then, hopefully, Jones will drive his 2011 Hyundai Accent into the sunset, having accomplished nothing and pissed off everyone in the process.

The song below would be our soundtrack to Jones' ceremony, a tribute to a man who is "chasing voices he receives in his head."