An outraged group of Wall Street brokers are finally fed up with feeling the government's oppressive boot on their necks, and they're getting organized to fight for their rights. Yesterday over two dozen brokers and traders held a rally to announce their new organization, Restore Wall Street, which is devoted to "bringing the pride back into Wall Street." You've got it all, Wall! Can a Fun Run be far behind? The rally/publicity stunt was held during lunch on the 23rd floor of 14 Wall Street, because, as one executive simply put it, "It’s cold out."

The Times called it the "best-dressed rally in history." With the White House pushing for new regulations and taxes on the biggest banks, and populist fury over big bonuses at a boiling point, the brokers are fighting back, and want everyone to LEAVE WALL STREET ALONE! Such hurtful things have been said about the financial sector lately, and market analyst Wayne S. Kaufman has had enough of the "infantile language" and the hate speech about "fat-cat bankers." At the end of the day," he tells the Times, "We’re citizens of the United States, too." And they deserve the same respect and rights as everyone else, (plus extra privileges).

And broker Johnathan McHale wants you to know he's not any "fat cat," he's a "strong cat" who's probably going to get an eating disorder thanks to all your nasty comments. McHale says that if anyone from the resentful rabble spent a week doing his job, that person would feel like "like a tired cat." In fact, McHale's so exhausted sometimes he falls asleep right inside his gold-flaked kitty litter box.