Hello LADIES are you looking to FIGHT today?? Step right up and take your best shot at The Bagel Boss, five full feet of misplaced rage ready to leap over your local deli counter and take you OUT.

You have probably seen the viral video for yourself at this point, but to just quickly give you some context for the above invitation: A Long Island man hulked out in a Bagel Boss franchise on Wednesday morning, launching into a bizarre and incel-tinted tirade about women on dating sites...wishing men five feet and under...were dead...? The dots don't easily connect!

Footage of the outburst made the rounds on Twitter yesterday, and unfortunately, it does not offer any clues as to what may have sparked the man's rage explosion. Olivia Bradley, the person who originally posted the video, told Buzzfeed that she had been waiting on line to order when she noticed the man pacing and "muttering to himself," something that seemed to be about "stupid" workers who "can't do their jobs." When he started castigating the women behind the counter, Bradley decided the situation would only escalate unless someone intervened, and told the man to stop.

In the video, she is heard just off camera asking why this guy "thinks it's okay to degrade women." That sends him into a furious tailspin.

"Degrade—why is it okay for women to say, 'Oh you're five feet on dating sites, you should be dead,' that's okay?!" the man sputters, throwing down his newspaper for emphasis.

"Who said that to you here? Nobody!" Bradley's friend and the vid's auteur, Diana Reyes, counters as the man huffs toward the counter, prompting him to quickly whip around and rebut.

"Women in general have said it on dating sites! Everywhere I go, I get the same fuckin' smirk, with the biting lip," he raves, gesticulating wildly. Then he goes after a male bystander, who is presumably smirking himself. "Shut your mouth!" he commands. "You're not God, or my father, or my boss."

Chest-bumping the offender in an effort to get him to "step outside," he begins shouting at other witnesses who tell him to stand down. He then goads one "big guy" to "go ahead and attack" him, which the big guy does, tackling him to the ground.

Unfortunately, though, the tantrum didn't end there. The man apparently got up, continuing to bluster at employees—who, it bears noting, appear to be mostly women. When one of the workers tells him to "get [his] food and leave," he swipes his bag from her hand and loudly grumbles (what I'm pretty sure is) "fuck you, fuck your fuckin' breakfast" before storming for the door. He spins around when he hears laughter, though, and begins screaming (again, what I *think* is) "all you women can shut the fuck up," although it's difficult to make out the dialogue exactly. Ultimately, he was escorted from the premises, with his order—reportedly a single egg and Swiss cheese on a whole wheat bagel—in hand and without paying. Here's part two:

The blowup was extreme enough to catch the attention even of celebrity tweeter Chrissy Teigen, who wondered aloud what she could do to up her odds of witnessing one of these "bagel boss-esque situations/fights."

"This could be the thing that drags me out of the house," she told her 11 million-plus Twitter followers. "Where do I need to post up with my camping chair??"

You can never truly know what's causing a viral video stranger to surpass their breaking point, but based on this YouTube channel, the person in the video appears to harass people fairly often! Prepare yourself for some racist, sexist, and homophobic language (but you probably already knew that).