The NYC mayoral race was justly eclipsed last week by the subway kittens who briefly brought service to a standstill in Brooklyn by frolicking on the train tracks. Last night, Stephen Colbert lamented the plight of the victims of those adorable kitties in a hilarious segment: "Hundreds of Brooklynites were stuck on the platform with nothing to Instagram, thousands of baristas were late for their shifts—worst of all, dozens of bands were instantly formed and named, 'The Subway Kittens.'" And then he brought the actual subway kittens August and Arthur—along with current foster dad Steven Liu—onto the show in a basket!
After running through each of the mayoral candidates responses to the kittens (and dropping a ridiculously perfect Sal Albanese impression), Colbert turned his attention to "the only pro-dead kitten candidate in this race...or any race:" Joe Lhota! After praising his campaign strategy ("He'll sweep up in the key anti-kitten demographics of sociopaths, rats large enough to vote, and Alf"), he offered Lhota the much coveted Colbert Bump...as long as he kills the kittens with a monkey wrench or baseball bat.