Gather 'round my dudes, for I have a tale of astounding irresponsibility to share, in which one rude bro nearly tosses his pet pug (or possible Frenchie?) under the wheels of an oncoming taxi while demonstrating his smooth longboard skills.

This egregious display of ass-hat behavior occurred in SoHo, at Prince Street and Broadway, on Halloween. Redditor Jonathan Bush posted video of the idiocy to Reddit, so that we may all judge freely. His chosen title asks a compelling question: "[What could go wrong] if I ride against New York traffic on my longboard with my dog in between my legs during rush hour."

WCGW if I ride against New York traffic on my longboard with my dog in between my legs during rush hour...

from r/Whatcouldgowrong

What could go wrong is that, turning directly into the taxi's path, you lean too far out of the way when your wheels catch on the car's, and dump your precious cargo into the street—which, of course, is exactly what happens in the footage. At first, the pup stays in the little box affixed (is it, though?) to the board's surface, but then the rider swerves to avoid the vehicle, tips the board, and sends the pug tumbling toward the tires. Ultimately, the little monster does not get crushed, and is instead left to flail belly-up on the pavement while its owner does...what, exactly, it's not immediately clear.

In an email, Bush said his wife (whose name he did not provide) filmed the incident, turning on her cellphone camera because the dog "was cute and funny," not because she had any "idea it was going to be hit by a car."

When she saw the cab approaching the crosswalk, however, she says her panic rose. Our witness noted that, although the dog ultimately emerged unscathed, it was because other pedestrians rescued it from the road, rather than its owner. According to Bush's wife, Mister Dogboard was busy opening the cab door and "hitting [the driver]. The cab driver did not leave the scene," although she did, once she determined that the unfortunate pooch had not been hurt.

As far as we can tell, though, the dog remains in this d-bag's custody, so it may only be a matter of time.