[UPDATE BELOW] You do know that if gay marriage becomes legal in New York, your children will be instantly turned gay by their crusading queer teachers, right? And according to this eye-opening new TV commercial, "it's not just kids who face consequences. The rights of people who believe marriage means a man and a woman will no longer matter. We’ll have to accept gay marriage whether we like it or not." Oppressed straight couples, Albany will never respect your rights if you don't stand up now!

According to the Times, the commercial, which will be broadcast around the city and state today, will also be accompanied by radio spots, robocalls, and a billboard in Times Square. Produced by conservative Christian group National Organization for Marriage, the $100,000 campaign is timed to thwart a same-sex marriage bill that's awaiting passage in the State Senate (the Assembly passed it this month.) A previous NOM commercial, which warned of a dark, gathering storm of gayness, inspired some hilarious parodies—check out our favorite below, via SFist.

Hmm, maybe NOM should learn how to spell same-sex marriage before trying to ban it? A commenter points out that marriage is misspelled "marraige" around the 27 second mark in their new commercial. Whatever, know-it-awl, homosekshals r still rong to git marraid!

And for the original NOM "Gathering Storms" commercial, see it here.