This is not 'Nam, there are rules, and one biggie is that you're not allowed to flash a piece out on the lanes and pull the trigger 'til it goes click. Investigators are searching for one extremely un-Dude suspect who did just that in a Queens bowling alley on Saturday night. His victim is in stable condition following the shooting, which was caught on camera:

The gunfire broke out at the Jib Lanes bowling alley on Parsons Boulevard shortly after 10 p.m. on Saturday. It's unclear what sparked the shooting, or if it was during league play, but police say the suspect fired approximately five shots at the 36-year-old victim, striking him in the back and thigh. He was taken to New York Hospital Queens, where he's in stable condition.

The suspect, who seems to think he's the only one left around here who gives a shit about the rules, fled on foot in an unknown direction. The NYPD describes him as a black male, mid-to late-30s, approximately 5'10"- 6', with a medium build. Sources also say he's perfectly calm. Calmer than you are.

Anyone with information in regard to this incident is asked to call Crime Stoppers at 1-800-577-TIPS (8477). (They've got four more detectives working on the case. They've got 'em working in shifts!) The public can also submit tips by logging onto the Crime Stoppers website or by texting their tips to 274637 (CRIMES) then enter TIP577. All calls are strictly confidential. Her life is in your hands.