John Oliver returned to the Last Week Tonight desk to tackle the various scandals plaguing presidential candidates Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump (the latter who he described as "an unambiguously racist scarecrow stuffed with scrunched-up copies of Juggs magazine"). But first he gave this election year the description it needed: It's "the electoral equivalent of seeing someone puking so you start puking and then someone else starts puking and pretty soon everyone is puking 2016." So true.
"We’ve spent several frustrating weeks trolling through all the innuendo and exaggerations surrounding Hillary’s email and foundation scandals, and the worst thing we can say is that they both look bad. But the harder you look, the less you actually find. There’s not nothing there, but what is there is irritating rather than grossly nefarious," he declared. "And this is where it’s instructive to compare her to her opponent: Donald Trump, America’s wealthiest hemorrhoid.... he’s quantifiably worse."
Oliver basically found that Clinton's scandals are troubling, but overall declared it's "not as bad as it looks. Which is never a satisfying thing to hear or, indeed, read about the buffet at a Golden Corral." He went on to say, "You can be irritated by some of Hillary’s [scandals] ― that is understandable ― but you should then be fucking outraged by Trump." Oliver went on to detail the mogul-turned-dog whistler's scandals—not releasing his tax returns; using money from his charitable foundation to pay for lawsuits; everything with Trump University; "the alleged use of undocumented workers when building Trump Tower, to the fact that he received an illegal $3.5 million loan from his father in the form of a purchase of chips from one of Trump’s casinos."
"Ethical failings in a politician are like raisins in a cookie," Oliver opined. "They shouldn’t be there. They disgust people. But most politicians have at least a few raisins." So here's Clinton's cookie:
And then there's Trump: "The man is a fucking raisin monsoon. He is ethically compromised to an almost unprecedented degree."
