While doing some research for a 7,000 word rebuttal to Julian Jaynes's The Origin of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind, we stumbled upon this Abercrombie & Fitch video of shirtless dudes dancing with the front door of the flagship NYC store WIDE OPEN. Having recently looked into the disturbing practice of upscale retailers leaving their front doors open with A.C. blasting, we began to get angry at this flagrant violation of city law that is forever shrined in internet eternity. Still, if there's one thing hotter than planet Earth in 2012 it's shirtless dudes lip-synching in Times Square.

After we did a few sit-ups just to prove that we still got it, we checked Google Streetview and lo, those mega doors at the Fifth Avenue location are wiiiiide open, punching Mother Nature in her fat, sweaty face with every frigid, pulsating, Carly Rae Jepsen beat. As hard as it may be, perhaps it's time to reconsider shopping at Abercrombie & Fitch.