Were you as freaked out by the nightmarish
Knicks game snakehead fish as we were? Yesterday, we learned that authorities are nervous that some of those hellspawn have made their way into Harlem Meer; these predatory fish, who can survive on land, endanger the entire fake ecosystem of Central Park. The Department of Environmental Conservation are so concerned about them, they say you should "kill it immediately" if you come across one. And of course there are already NYers out there trying to hunt the gremlins: "It's something that has to get out of this water, and I'll be trying the most free time that I have," Noel Rodriguez told WNYC. "The most days off I have, I'll be fishing here." But how exactly does one kill a snakehead fish?
First, it's important to note that these are vicious creatures—there are plenty of upsetting videos online that show how they attack other animals (at least a few of those videos were uploaded by some sick people). If you are planning to hunt a snakehead fish, you must come prepared.
There are a lot of YouTube gurus who say they hold the answers when it comes to kill-or-be-thoroughly freaked out by a snakefish egads (you can see one such person above). But if you want something a bit more applicable to your life here in NYC, here's our handy three step guide to killing one:
1. Buy a baseball bat.
2. Carry the baseball bat everywhere with you.
3. Use the baseball bat to smash the beast.