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Video: Healing 59th Street Subway Waterfall Will Cure Your Consumption

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As New York's magnificent crystalline snow mountains melt away to reveal trash dating back to the Dinkins administration, the pure liquid essence of our fading winter flows downhill, gathering speed as it passes through gutters and glades, finally roaring into the subway system, where magnificent waterfalls are now making your commute truly magical. Here's the scene today at 59th Street, where many rheumatism sufferers are flocking to "take the waters":

"It was pouring down, and right in the area where the platform is super narrow, so it was hard to avoid," said one visitor on her way to the steam room. "Also, it was coming down right at the edge of the platform, so each time a train stopped there, the doors would open and the people coming out would get soaked. Lovely way to start the morning."

Sadly, not everyone appreciates the healing powers of the subway falls. 'If you're walking to the NQR, it's everywhere," says one skeptical tipster via email. "Like the Rain Room at MoMA but horrible." To be fair, people had to wait outside MoMA for eight hours to get into the Rain Room; you probably won't have to wait that long for an N train. Now where's that invigorating subway geyser so we can get an enema before our subway sponge bath?

If you found the MTA's waterfalls lacking, tell your state representatives and Governor Cuomo to stop robbing the MTA of badly needed funding and figure out a way to come up with more cash for a 21st Century subway system.

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