Think your bike is safely locked up in broad daylight on a gentrified block of North Brooklyn? Let this bike thief (Greenpoint's Fastest™) cut the strings of your credulity in less than 10 seconds.
Note the fake cell phone call to assuage any lingering suspicion from the passersby; his gentle, unassuming gait as he approaches the mark; the way he doesn't look down at the pliers in his grasp until he absolutely has to. If you're going to have your bike stolen, it might as well be at the skilled hands of a professional.
Chris Herwig says his family's bike was locked up outside their building across the street from McCarren Playground at 3 p.m. last Friday. By 5 p.m. it was gone.
"It's the third bike we've had stolen from the exact same spot," Herwig says. "We've had two U-locks cut, and now this cable."
Herwig notes that all of the stolen bikes have had baby seats, and the most recent was a beater replacement for the nicer bikes that preceded it, both of which were stolen in the middle of the night.
"The first thing we thought when it was stolen was, we hope the guy riding it around is all right. The brakes are kinda bad."
Herwig adds that his family has moved on and gotten a new bike and a better chain lock, and that the 94th Precinct has been receptive to his theft report.
"It's just so great having the bike outside, if you need to drop the kids off somewhere or get to the subway really quick. But I guess we'll be taking it up the stairs."
If you have any information on this thief, contact NYPD Crimestoppers. All tips are confidential.