On Monday night, the Giants kicked off their 2014 football season with their worst game of 2014 (but they have 15 more chances to top it!). They were completely humiliated by the Detroit Lions (yes, the Detroit Lions) 35-14. And Eli Manning, the godfather of pranks and patron saint of Dunkin' Donuts, was particularly terrible. Deja vu, right? One diehard Giants fan dealt with the crushing blow as any reasonable adult might: by burning his Manning jersey and shouting to the heavens that it's time to dump the two-time Super Bowl MVP.
Here is jersey burner John Sherman's explanation as to his incredibly incendiary performance:
I was born NY and have been a Giant fan since I could speak. Eli Manning was a part of a team that won two superbowls everybody knows that. Not just Eli won them. A quarterback is the leader of the team. He is not leading and just throwing interception after interception. Every professional athletes relationship with his team comes to an end over time. It is time for Eli to say goodbye! If he was honest he would admit he has lost his mojo and is scared out there and it just doing it now for the money. He needs to go or we are going to have many miserable years ahead of us! So screw all of you who just sit by and have no emotion or try to do something to see a change!! A true Giant fan like myself will do whatever it takes to see change no matter what the idiot masses say.
Pssh, if Sherman were really serious about his football effigy, he'd throw on some Metallica and start a spit-roast. Anyway, the Giants were terrible last year, and probably are going to be terrible this year, and there are probably a few other things to get upset about in the world of the NFL currently, were you so inclined to do so.