Darth Vader finds investors' lack of faith disturbing. So today the Sith Lord made a personal appearance at the New York Stock Exchange to boost morale. Flanked by Storm Troopers, Lord Vader rang the opening bell while gazing ominously out upon the cowering traders. Great, just what Wall Street needs: more exposure to the dark power of the force. The market better be bullish today, or these guys can expect to find breathing a little difficult at closing bell.
Wait, isn't that one of those droids the Empire's looking for?!