Last night, Stephen Colbert "celebrated" the decampments of Occupy Wall Street encampments across the country, most prominently in Zuccotti Park yesterday. He had particular joy in parsing Mayor Bloomberg's mid-day speech in which he rationalized the removal of protesters—because after all, even George Washington knew that the First Amendment wasn't an absolute right: "The Founders never intended indefinite free speech. They assumed after two weeks any protest would be wiped out by small pox."

He gave supreme credibility to the idea that OWS was prohibiting other people’s free speech ("When a drum circle starts in Zuccotti Park, all other music in New York stops.”), thanked Bloomberg for sending in well-adjusted police to handle the situation ("helping the wounded and the sick with his two fists, Florence and Nightingale"), and offered a nightmare-ish look into what could have been the future of OWS, comparing those protesters to their vicious Berkeley compatriots:

Let's remember, these so-called 'peaceful protesters' could have turned violent like their fellow Occupiers at UC Berkeley last week. Look at these vicious students attacking these billy clubs with their soft jab-able bellies!