Sure second-hand smoke is bad for your health, but is it as bad as second-hand chainsaw? Last summer, Dean Dinnen was tossed out of a pub in Hull, England for smoking. Apparently he was cut to the quick, as Dinnen returned later with a chainsaw and began chasing after frightening barflies in a surreal scene that is equal parts Texas Chainsaw Massacre and NicoDerm CQ.

Dinnen was eventually subdued by the bar's patrons wielding beer kegs and stools, but not before he slashed 21-year-old Adrian Pryor, who needed 21 stitches for the wound. "I could not believe my eyes. The saw was being swung around people were arching their bodies to swerve away from him," one witness told the Daily Mail. Another said, "I ran. I did not look back. I could hear the chainsaw screaming behind me I got the feeling he was right behind me."

According to Dinnen's attorney, his client was on drugs and quite drunk at the time. "He went back looking for the man he says took him outside and punished him for disrespecting the smoking ban. He accepts it must have been terrifying," the lawyer said in a delightfully understated fashion. Dinnen was sentenced to three years in jail. Maybe Mayor Bloomberg should cut smokers some slack before our parks turn into horror movies.