Race cards! Fat jokes! Old ladies! This video of a Manhattan bus-ride-from-hell has got it all. Watch all the uncomfortable fun below—even though you weren't there, you'll wish you took a taxi anyway.

The video's uploader writes that they witnessed the exchange on the M31 bus going crosstown on 57th Street: "an old woman complains that a fellow passenger is encroaching on her seat space. A racist argument ensues. This video is evidence I should never leave the house." What's worse: playing the "race card," or telling a fellow straphanger that "she should pay double fare" because of her girth?