Brett Favre has literally and figuratively been getting kicked in the nuts for much of the last two weeks because of renewed allegations that he sent a former Jets in-house sideline reporter and Jets team masseuses inappropriate text and picture messages. Last weekend, Deadspin released a video with several of the alleged texts and pictures (NSFW), and the NFL has now fast-tracked the investigation of the football legend—Which means this is the perfect time for Favre to receive the Taiwanese CGI treatment by Next Media Animation. As always, they boil the story down to its bullet points: banana penis, laser eyes, and keg stands.